Une.

---

3Nov09.

No such thing as jet lag. I sleep when I don't want to be awake.

Tags: greetings, randomness., thoughts
somewhere: Home. :D
imaru go: :)
tuned in to: zounds.

Last Sunday, in mass (I think it was in mass), Mom told me that the polyps they found in dad's colon - those thingees they removed, they would be cancer.

Dad had asked: Oh, so I could have had cancer?
The doctor replied: No. You would have had it.

He now has to be checked every 6 months, just in case other stuff build up. I've been too preoccupied to think about it properly. Such stupidity.


Please let it be okay? Thank You <3


This couch is making me itchy. But running at the break of dawn is fun. In a deadly way. Haha. Should I study now? Yes, yes, I should. Meh.

Good night. :)

Tags: rl, thoughts
somewhere: couch
imaru go: yawn~
tuned in to: --

Maybe I see you.

Maybe you'd see me, too. If only you would look.

I don't want to say anything because you mean well, but dammit, I want to say everything because I don't know what else to do, how else to smile.

What happens if you're hungry but aren't, if you're tired as hell but can't get a fricking moment of rest unless you're on your way somewhere, unless you're sure you have a destination in mind? In cases like that the thought doesn't seem to count for much, even if I wished to jack it would.


Right now I want to: curl up under a blanket and ignore my frozen toes, try to remove the chill from my hands, make my eyes stop welling up, and sleep. With a bucket nearby. In case, you know, I decide to just throw the f*ck up already.

Swearing doesn't make me feel any better either. But there's no other way to say that.

Maybe I'd feel better if only I would let myself. If I would tell you and get it over with. If I never told you and got over myself. It doesn't seem possible.

Do you notice? Do you ever - when you can't see me, when you only have my words to go by?

Do you even know for absolutelycertainlysure who you are I'm talking about?


Whatever. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Two weeks from now, it won't matter. Hardly changes anything, even now. Except for my appetite and blah. But who cares.


Yesterday I lost a small something I barely even noticed I had. It was on the bed, something that definitely didn't belong there. I put it in my pocket for safe-keeping, but it wasn't there when I wanted to look at it. So I spent the morning searching for it, lifting pillows and bags when I didn't even care for it before.

It turned up hours later, when I wasn't looking for it. Of course it was in my pocket, right where I had placed it. Of course.

At once I felt grateful and stupid. Things like that happen, right? We misplace, don't search well enough, ignore what we don't want to see. It's easy. It's sometimes all we can do.

After forever, will I be where I was before I lost myself into you?

That small something is now in a safe place, but not where it belongs. It won't be where it has to be till I stick it on again. Not too difficult a task, but you'd be amazed how much time that can take - if it gets seen to at all. Or maybe you wouldn't be at all surprised.

I don't know if I want to know.

Maybe I'll stay right where everything leaves me.


My schedule sticks it's tongue out at me and makes me feel stupid.

Tags: dreams, thoughts, writings
somewhere: Tita Bel's
imaru go: blah
tuned in to: --

Why do I feel heavier after talking to you? Is it what you're saying or, stupidly, just because it's you?


We all want our families to be rescued first. I want to say, no, it's fine, you can go ahead, but dammit, that's my family out there and I have no idea how they are.

Please help them.

There really isn't much more to say.

Tags: eep., rl
somewhere: Home.
imaru go: :(
tuned in to: News.

Hurricane Katrina rainfall = 380mm in Louisiana. Typhoon Ondoy rainfall = 410mm in Manila. (twitter.com/moiloves)

I'm so scared.

Mica and her family are in somebody else's house, possibly out of food and water and meds. Last I heard, other cousins were still trapped in their second floor. And, gah, I haven't even heard from my cousins who live in the same village at lower ground. I'm so scared. Please, please, please help us all, Lord. Please.

We can get through this. And, with You, we will. :)


It's still surreal, and I'm not sure where acting to survive ends and panicking begins.

How are you guys?

Tags: eep., rl, thoughts
somewhere: Home.
imaru go: :(
tuned in to: --

It's always something to wake up to your family singing for you and two dogs sniffing at you.

Thank You. <3

To Anvaya! Whee.

Tags: greetings, rl, whee~!
somewhere: home (not for long) :/
imaru go: :D:D:D
tuned in to: --

If I whisper cry hide say nothing's wrong, will you believe me?

Tags: dreams
somewhere: Dining :)
imaru go: ...
tuned in to: --

Dad and I are in Brunei, waiting for our flight to Manila. We went ahead of everybody else (and spent way more) just so I can get to Ateneo in time to take my test. All this for Acc20. What awesome fun. :|

And, um, I haven't even really studied yet. Shame.

Our flight from Kota took all of 20 minutes - and in that span of time, Brunei Airlines was able to give us more food/comfort/aestheticfun than Cebu Pacific ever did. Kind of sad, but whatever.

OOH. This trip was worth it just because I got to go parasailing and it was awesome. Bert wants one in his (nonexistent) backyard. I want one so I can sleep up there and not have to listen to noisy people. Heh.

Coffee Bean is awesome for having free internet. I should probably make good use of it to check my email. Boo that. Lalala~ I need to ease back into school. Help? Hee.

See you soon :)

Tags: rl, school, vacation, whee~!
somewhere: Coffee Bean Brunei Airport
imaru go: :)
tuned in to: --